Nelly B (danish_cowgirl) wrote,
Nelly B
danish_cowgirl

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miserere mei, Deus

Just got back from a Saturday with the OH/NC/Brasil Tenney fam, all gathered at my grandparent's house in Cleveland Heights. Well, not all. My mom and baby sis Polly (even though she's 12 - the 'baby' is to differentiate between her and little sis Maggie, who's 16) came up to see my uncle, who was visiting from Rio de Janeiro, and it worked out that they could see me, too. And thus happiness abounded.

They brought my Blunnies (awesome Australian Blundstone boots, or Blunnies for short, which I'd kept forgetting), candied ginger, which Polly and I finished within hours, and a wonderfully bright blue-and-green Brasilian tapestry that I've hung on the wall to try and brighten up the room a little. It's working, kinda, although it looks a little bit out-of-place in all the cold Ohio drear - like it misses the sun too. But it does help. And it was really nice to see Mama and Polly again. Eddie came over for a bit to be subjected to Mama's scrutiny, brief interrogation, photo session and subsequent approval. Polly, who spent the night, was raving about him: he's "sooo sweet" and "sooo cute" and "sooo nice," even though she got gently urged to go elsewhere for a bit while he was over. And apparently, my very proper grandmother was shown the pics from Mama's photo session and decided that he's "quite handsome" and definitely looks like "a catch."

Wow. I just looked out my window. The sun's now low enough that it can peek a bit through the cloud cover, just enough to lend a hint of color back into the view. The winter trees are all tinged with a deep reddish-brown at the tips of their branches, but most of the rest of them is a soft white. They fade to a haze of darker red-purple further away, and where the forest abruptly stops, you can see the bluest of blues, just before the world ends and the sky begins: horizon blue, wanderlust blue - a misty, just-beyond-your-sight blue with the sweetest, wildest, most seductive siren song in the world; of such a color that you don't know if it could be earth or sky or someplace in-between; the color that awakens such a fierce longing to go that I have no idea why I'm still here in this little one-hoss town, or in any town with any number of hosses, when the horizon is screaming and whispering my name with such fierceness.

Then I remember: I'm too comfortable here.  I have a nice, safe life.  I love my friends and family, and think that I would miss them too much if I just up and left.  I fret about grades, which lead to various degrees at various other institutions of higher learning, which lead to various jobs with various salaries, and thus eventually (though I dread it with all my being) a rut with no hint of the sky.

Someday I'll go.  Someday I'll pack the bare essentials and head off, with only a note or a kiss for goodbye.  Someday the song of all that wild blue yonder will be stronger than all the little pins that hold me down, and I'll break them and run for my life.

Someday I'll stop saying someday...

 

-Nelly B
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  • 11 comments
*hugs for coolness*

Those were very good reactions from the family, I must say. Send me the pics as soon as possible. And bug Maggie about finding your camera!

*loves the imagery in the middle paragraph* That's really cool.
Hurray! Everyone cheer for the solved mystery of the missing camera! It was discovered at a friend's house in Wake Forest, where I apparently left it after a party right before I left to come back up here. So there's no need to blame Maggie, and I apologise if I ever did (SORRY MAGS!!!). The fam might decide to just wait till spring break when I can just take it back up with me, so they don't have to fuss about mailing and all that jazz. So...I'll still have to wait a while to get my baby back, but at least it's been found. :)
That's wonderful. Unfortunate that you won't get it until then...but you get it back, and that's the important thing. Then you just need to catch up on picturage. And post them!

Sorry Maggie, no blame for you.
Yeah, poor Maggie. She gets nothing blamed on her now, and actually gets apologised to...so we have to think up something else to blame on her so she won't feel left out. Like...the death of the theatre. It's not reality TV, it's some chica at a school of the arts in NC! Hmm...no, that doesn't quite work. Any ideas?

PS: I <3 ellipses!
Hee hee, yeah, I love 'em too. Good for phrasing and dramatic/humourous pauses.
And apparently, my very proper grandmother was shown the pics from Mama's photo session and decided that he's "quite handsome" and definitely looks like "a catch."

that whole paragraph made me smile :)
:) Good. I like to make people smile. But it's all true, ya know...:D
merci.
De rien.
.
Bleah.